It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
