she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We have started to decorate penises.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
