yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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