yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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