She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
