the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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