Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
