Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
