I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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