Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Semen is not good for contacts.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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