found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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