I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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