Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I faked an abortion last night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
