my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize