I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i love accidental penises.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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