Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think people are normalizing furries
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
