Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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