This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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