She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
