Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
