Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Green mimosas i think yes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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