do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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