how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
