went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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