This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
