Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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