Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
