remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
