Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
