hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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