so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
