I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
someone owes me an orgasm
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
