We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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