i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she smelled like a LAN party
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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