But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
