I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
