Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This baby is an asshole
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
