I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
