a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
