HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
