That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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