my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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