she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
