she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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