I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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