Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
