You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
