she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
