Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
