oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
