high people should be assigned attendants
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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