He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
