her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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