yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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