This girl is more easily done than said...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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