Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
